On a Book

A couple of us Church Daughters are still in school, so our reading outside of our syllabi is rare these days.  I say this mostly to place a disclaimer on this premature review.  You see, I am one of those Daughters still in school; and while I have the next week of classes off for “reading days,” I still work.  Break shmake.  These days are to be used primarily for catching up on all of the work of my course load, but I am intentionally taking some of the time to do a bit of selfish reading.  I will not finish an entire extracurricular book, but I will skim a good bit of something I love.

The Rev. Dr. Lauren Winner’s new book, Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis, arrived on my doorstep with impeccable timing last Thursday.  While I was at school studying for midterms, my husband called to let me know that this unexpected surprise had arrived with a sweet form letter from the author.  The thing about Lauren (you know we are on a first name basis now, as I dream I am with all of my favorite authors) is that she writes with such beautiful honesty and vulnerability.  I fell in love with her writing and her story the first time I read Girl Meets God; and her letter, though only a form with my name inserted for a more personal feel, was characteristically Lauren – pure, honest, raw.

Lauren’s new book is not intended as a memoir but as a confession of where she has ended up after the newness of conversion has worn off and life has marched on with its inevitable ups and downs.  She suspects, and correctly so, that many Christians (if not all) have a point where they wind up in the middle of their journey – far enough from the beginning point that the warm fuzzy feelings have faded and the reality of disappointment and doubt distract the journeyer from truth.  Lauren tells her story unapologetically.  And, I respect the hutzpah (catch that Lauren?) that it takes to offer such honesty to a public that would be content reading Girl Meets God like they would watch a movie – assuming that happily ever after lasted after the last period.  Her sequel, however, tells us otherwise.  In Still, the happily ever after has worn off, and we get a picture of a life of an honest Christian in the middle of her journey.  She has days of doubt and loss, and she has days of seeming clarity.

Lauren’s story is my story, and I suspect it is the story of every honest Christian in the middle.  There are days when I am completely clear on my calling to be a Christian and it seems that God and I are in sync with one another.  But, there are also days when I struggle to make out God’s voice, and I struggle to remember the joy and passion that I first felt as a new Christian.

In her form letter, Lauren suggests that her book be used as a guide through Lent.  She offers a reading guide and discussion questions relating to the book for mid-life Christians.  Though I have only read the preface and part one, I assure you that this book is real.  It is honest.  It is my story.  And, it is probably a bit of your story, too.  We are a week and a half into Lent, but do not let that be your excuse for not picking up this book and grappling with your own mid-faith crisis with Lauren and with me.

Originally posted at Church Daughters.

On Birthdays

Today, we celebrate David’s third birthday, and this morning I woke him up just like my mother woke me up on my birthdays – by smudging a little butter on his nose.  Andrew, though he had seen me do this many times before and had even personally experienced this odd way of waking up, was confused by this little ritual.  He asked me why I did it, and I told him that it’s just what we do.  This is something that has been passed down through the generations of my family, and I am sure it originally had something to do with a blessing of prosperity in the coming year.  But, as the original meaning has faded throughout the year, this is just the way we show the birthday girl or boy that they are special and that they are loved.

This year as I crept into the kitchen in my pajamas to put a little butter on my index finger, I couldn’t help but think of my mother doing the same thing for me each year.  I think I was able to know and understand another facet of my mother’s love for my siblings and for me.  I was able to understand how much love and joy went into such a small gesture. 

Being a mother brings so much more perspective to my life.  I am able to understand and appreciate my own mother more and more.  I am able to understand and care for our students and their parents even more.  And, I am able to understand more and more about God and about God’s relationship with humanity.

It made me wonder how God celebrates our re-birthdays in heaven.  I suspect there is much joy and much love in God’s heart.  Like a child who seeks the love and affirmation brought on by pleasing her mother and father, knowing God’s love for us and joy over the days of our own spiritual re-birth and decision to follow Christ should lead us to want to do more and more to love and serve God.  In serving God, I imagine that we bring joy to God’s heart and a beaming smile of parental pride to God’s face.  

On the Mystery of Christ

One of my favorite Christmas carols is “In the Bleak Midwinter.”  It was written by 19^th century English poet, Christina Rossetti.  Living in 19^th century England as a single women, Rossetti knew something about bleakness.  Her haunting poem speaks to the stillness into which Christ was born - “a stable place sufficed The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.”  I love the juxtaposition of the grandeur of God not being able to be contained in all of heaven and earth with the tangible mortality of the mean estate of humanity. 

Over the course of Christian history, we have struggled to put Christ’s two natures into words that come close to describing the divine mystery of the Incarnation.  We have argued, declared one another as heretics, and held Church council after Church council to settle this debate.  Yet, I cannot help but be reminded of the Apostle Paul’s words: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). 

The mystery of God is hard to translate into the human vernacular.  And, our best attempts are often communicated in juxtaposed lines of poetry like this one penned so long ago. 

In hearing and singing this song, I am reminded that the miracle of Christmas goes beyond Christmas trees and decorations, beyond carols and hymns, beyond our attempts at understanding mystery and miracle; and it points to the Divine Love and Mystery of God who in all glory condescended to us in the act of the Incarnation.  What a God we serve!  What a Love that covers us!  What a Promise of Hope we have in the Person and Work of Christ!  

On Celebrating the Incarnation

This year it has become increasingly apparent to me that Christians in America celebrate two totally unrelated holidays on December 25 - if they even celebrate the birth of Christ at all.  I have always had a bit of discomfort in the celebrating of Western commercialized Christmas, but the tug of nostalgia has always kept me celebrating however minimally it may have seemed to the rest of our culture.  But, this year as I have seen my son learning about Christmas, I have seen that he makes no connection whatsoever between the Santa Claus holiday that he sees in movies and in the decorations and the Joseph, Mary, and Jesus that he loves so much to identify in nativity scenes.  He does not see the connection because he is, as of yet, unable to justify consumeristic greed and materialism.

I should say that I love to give Christmas presents.  I love cooking and baking all of the Christmas goodies that I grew up eating.  I love decorating my Christmas tree.  And, I love Christmas music.  I long to recreate the magical feeling I had at Christmas time in my childhood for my own son.  But, at what cost?  Do I sacrifice convictions for confections?  Principles for presents?  Right doctrine for decorations?

Last night I even told my husband that I would almost rather celebrate Christmas on two different days.  One for the Incarnation and one for nostalgia and cookies. There is a lot to think about when you have children that no one tells you about when you are pregnant!  Do I make my child a social pariah by not celebrating Christmas the way that the rest of "Christian America" does?  Will he be the kid who ruins Santa for all of the other kids in his class?  Will other kids (and even church members) pity him because of his scrooge parents?

I have no answers for these questions.  In full discretion: we have already bought his Christmas present.  We have a Christmas tree up in our living room.  We have a wreath on the door.  And, I have made trays full of fudge.  Our son watches Christmas movies non-stop and he sat on Santa's lap at my husband's church's Breakfast with Santa function.  And, I love to see his little eyes light up.  I know things seem magical and exciting to him.

I'm not worried about lying to him or giving him a false view of reality.  I am worried about willingly placing him in the midst of greed and consumerism.  I'm worried about feeding him a both/and type of Christmas that never really celebrates the Incarnation - that never really celebrates anything other than presents.  I am worried about not fulfilling my calling to accurately and faithfully portray the gospel to my son.

I am sure that many will say that I am over-thinking this.  But, no amount of thought is too great when it comes to faithfully following Christ.

I invite your thoughts and comments.  Let's discuss this as a community of believers seeking to love God with our hearts, souls, minds, and strength.

On Youth Workers and Their Conventions

I recently returned from Atlanta, Georgia where I was able to experience my second National Youth Workers' Convention put on by Youth Specialties, an organization founded by Mike Yaconelli and Wayne Rice some 40 years ago.

The organization began out of a deep love for students within and without the Church and a very real felt need for ministry specifically geared to them.  Over the past 40 years, the people of Youth Specialties have worked to be innovative, in tune with youth culture, and Christ-centered.  They have sought to be a resource to youth ministers who, in some cases, are alone in forging a path into youth culture carrying the light of Christ in a real and relevant way.

This year, we had the opportunity to celebrate a man who has held youth, Youth Specialties, and especially the National Youth Workers' Convention very dear to his heart and mission, Tic Long.  Tic has stood by this organization through thick and thin for almost 40 years, and he is a true servant of youth and youth workers across the western hemisphere.   According to YS, Tic "has been president of events for just about forever [, and] he probably loves NYWC more than anyone else on the planet!" 

We celebrated Tic not only for his devoted tenure, but because this will be his last NYWC as the president of events.  Tic has been called to local church ministry and has accepted that call.  We celebrate with Tic as he steps into this new chapter of his journey with God.

Tic, I along with thousands upon thousands of ministers and students, wish you peace in your new transition, wisdom for the ministry, and strength for the journey.